SUGAR-FREE RED BULL (24-PACK)
Why stop at the servo every morning and pay triple the price when you know — you KNOW — you'll be back first thing tomorrow anyway? Buy the case. Red Bull gives you wings. And the will to live. It's basically coffee, except crispy cold, actually delicious, and zero calories. The breakfast of functioning chaos.
★★★★★
Shelley's verdict: 5/5. The breakfast of champions, if champions ran on spite and caffeine. Buy the case, thank me tomorrow (at the servo I didn't go to).
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